I can close my eyes and easily go back to my dorm room sophomore year of college. I can paint myself out in that dark space, lit only by my computer screen, researching disorders and diseases on forums and WebMD. I can see myself in my traumatic college relationship and reliving sexual assault everyday. I can feel the beginning of my eating disorder and lack of self worth. I can see myself having a manic episode and looking at my reflection in the mirror thinking, “who the hell are you?” I can see myself in dance class—after my body changed, after my period stopped coming—watching all the girls with a new set of goggles, the ones that looked at them with envy and myself with utter disgust. I write, I work, I make and I research for the people who have been there, or are there. You are not alone.
IDFKY is I Don’t Fucking Know Yet. Because none of us really know anything.
IDFKY is created and run by Yaël Krinsky with the help of some gold star friends.